Why is social isolation “bad for you”?

isolation, loneliness, autism experience is likely different, or is it? 

In searching for information about autism and older adults, I keep finding generic articles and “studies” aimed at proving that if we are not interacting with others socially on a daily basis, we are more likely to die sooner, more likely to suffer many illnesses, more likely to have mental problems, etc.
 
It doesn’t seem to have crossed any of the presenter/ researchers minds that we may have had these troubles and problems before, rather than as a result of isolation/ loneliness.

It does not take into account at all those few of us who choose to separate ourselves from others as part of self care. (perhaps those of us who do this are statistically insignificant?) Not all autistic individuals deliberately self isolate, many enjoy a lot of social activity of all sorts. 
 
 First, I had to find out how ‘science’ defined social isolation. 
here are some definitions I uncovered. 
“lack of social contact or social support”

“Lack of sense of belonging, lack of sustained communication or interaction with others, 
deficient in fulfilling, quality relationships .”


Loneliness is defined as ” feeling alone, isolated, perceived discrepancy between desire for contact ( wanting social interaction) and actual social contact. ”

So there is no measurable quantity or number of contacts, in what contexts, defining how frequently or of what nature, saying “this is enough”, ”this is unhealthy”, ”this is good for you” etc. 

It is all vague and seems to be based partially on the perception of those doing the “studies”.  Question tests have been developed. ”perceived level of support from family and friends” test asks ”How often we see or hear from others, How many others?”
 ”How many of these contacts do you feel you can talk about private matters with”,
and ”who/ how many of these contacts can you ask for help?” 

Then there is the little test:   ”do you feel lonely?”  1 Never, 2 sometimes, 3 always. 

I remember being told over and over that my mother in the nursing home needed social contact with others, and they did not allow inmates confined there to stay in their rooms. It is so unhealthy!!!

Residents were warehoused in a large multi purpose room with tables and chairs, where the staff were present, up to 2 for the 40 or so individuals confined there. 
The TV was turned on, blaring, and piped in music played constantly from loud speakers in the ceilings.
 There were very bright fluorescent flickering lights, constant babble, screaming, crying, and roaming of individuals.  
There were scheduled activities for those coherent enough to understand, exercises in the morning, simple crafts, ”baking” on one day, fingernail painting another, ”games time”, and tea parties, socials, dress up days, something every morning and afternoon every day.
   I was distressed and anxious knowing I was expected to attend these things and had to take tranquilizers each time I went to visit or participate just to function in that setting for the 3 or 4 hours I was there.
 This was long before I understood my own autism and eventually after I was diagnosed, my mother’s autism as well. Knowing may or may not have helped! 

I think the claim of “having to have social interaction” is a good excuse for warehousing populations of elders and keeping them confined while the business of cleaning all rooms, collecting and distributing laundry, feeding and washing/ dressing individuals goes on with very limited, over worked, underpaid, limited staff. 
  It is a claim to justify warehousing ‘management’ technique.
 
I can’t say this is true for all nursing facilities but it certainly happened in the facilities where my mother was confined ( she had dementia, Parkinson’s, other health problems that needed constant attention, and she did not sleep at night, making it impossible for me to care for her at home). Mother was confined to a “memory care” unit which was locked to keep inmates from roaming and getting lost. 

Of course each individual needs different levels of interaction with others.

 I think those of us with autism may choose deliberately to self isolate to control anxiety due to constant over stimulation, feeling more comfortable in our own company than that of strangers, multiple others, group activities, or demands for social interaction which frequently overwhelm us. 
For many others, it may be true that social interactions of the kind described earlier are fun and enjoyable, desirable and sought after. Such studies and tests may be aimed once again at the neurotypical population. 
But I wonder deeply at the motives behind such testing and classification of individuals, and I worry about being lumped into the mix, with my loved ones being told “it is unhealthy” for me to be “isolated”. Who gets to define what isolation is? 

Who defines what my level of loneliness is, and what self care and self regulating behavior is healthy, meaningful, useful, and who gets to decide how lonely, distressed, and impoverished I might be if I am placed in a situation where so much mindless overwhelming activity and stressful expectations are parts of every day life, multiple times every single day. ????

 As I age and health issues creep up on me as a part of ageing, these things weigh more heavily on my mind. 

I have had a talk with my closest family members, defining what I hope will happen if I am ever unable to care for myself or make decisions for myself.

 If you are older and looking at end of life issues, it would be a good idea to become a self advocate and let others around you know exactly what your wishes would be in any number of possible situations.
 
Knowing about my autism has allowed me to find new perspective on my past, my own behavior and my strengths and weaknesses. It has allowed me to look at the future in a healthy way and to plan for eventualities. 
Most people spend at least 30 days in hospital or nursing homes as their end days approach. Plan now, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. 

Let others know what you think about these times of our lives.