Nobody Knew!

A lifetime of shame and blame for sensory processing disorders.

Those of us who grew up before diagnosis and understanding of disabilities surrounding sensory processing, autism, adhd, learning disabilities such as dyslexia, were blamed for our struggles.

Were you told “you just don’t try”, “you are not paying attention” “you are lazy”, “You know very well what you have done”, “pull yourself together” “get with it” and other shaming and blaming comments, frequently with punishments according to the failure to perform as expected?? So many of us lived lives of misery trying to explain how hard we were trying and being punished for things we failed at which were beyond our neurological abilities. Nobody knew.

In the days when many of us grew up, failure to take personal responsibility and to perform as expected was considered mental weakness, moral weakness, or even worse, we were given labels “stupid” “idiot” “simpleton” … you can fill in the blanks.

Many of us carry the scars of well meaning “correction”, emotional or physical, or both, testimony to the concern of parents, educators, religious leaders, and others “back then” who were advocates of punishment as the way to correct and control any failure of children right through adulthood, beginning in some cases before the child could even speak.

Today we know so much more about autism and the neurology of so many ways we struggle to perform.

This is such a relief and vindication for so many of us born before 1980, when autism was first diagnosed, when understanding of neurological function struggles was just being discovered.

We have come such a long way from those roots of scientific searches to explain why so many of us failed to thrive, failed to perform, failed to live up to expectations or to fit into society and its mandates. But many of us carry scars in our minds, hearts, souls as well as our bodies.

It was such a relief to finally understand the lifetime of failures I had lived before I got that diagnosis . “Autism” explained so much. “Autism ” answered almost all the “whys” of a long and painful life of struggles.

I never understood that I had struggles which most other people did not. What a relief! It is never too late to find new understanding .

It is wonderful to me that so many adults today are learning about autism and how it worked behind the scenes all our lives without knowing or understanding, our own or that of others.
Now we can make our own lives better through self understanding and self accommodation. We have the answers and the means to discover new tools to help us every day.

Nobody knew!