Five years ago

happy birthday to this blog

 I started writing here almost 5 years ago January 2019, in order to share details about the struggles an older adult goes through to obtain diagnosis of autism here in the USA, and to explain the need for such diagnosis even in those of us who are elderly. I hoped to attempt to share all the things I was learning about the nature of autism for those who had gone through their lives into old age without ever knowing they were autistic.

The story begins on the last pages of this blog with my first entries, so to find things that happened in my adventure, you must scroll to the bottom of the page and read backwards. Had I been more tech savvy, the blog may have been easier to use

. Old dogs may be able to learn tricks but sometimes we are slower at it, especially if we have sensory processing disorder and are autistic (this dog, me). 

What a huge difference knowing about my autism and how it has worked in me all my life has made! I have such better self understanding, and am learning that it is OK to be me, OK to feel emotions, OK to be different and even to enjoy that aspect of myself. 

I have learned I do not have to “fit in” or force myself to live up to other people’s expectations, to say NO to their demands, and It is not my job to “make other people happy”. 

At 4 full years and a few weeks now, from official diagnosis, my life has changed almost completely. 

My self understanding has changed, my ability to recognize and deal with my emotions is growing, my understanding of my very long history of misunderstandings and pain in growing up, going to school, leaving home and living an adult life, working, parenting, being in a healthy relationship all have changed! It has been a huge relief to learn about my autism and how it worked hidden all those years in so many harmful and hurtful ways. My past finally makes sense! 

I have the answer to so many “whys” of my life history. 
I can make a better life for myself now, with better self understanding and this new perspective.  

Today autism is understood to be not behavioral, but neurological. Behaviors of autistic individuals are due to struggles with sensory processing. 

 Autism itself presents as uneven development of an individuals’ neurology. 
We are born with autism, we die with it. There is no diet, no pill, no treatment, no supplements or special therapies that can cure it . Autism is “for life” 

Knowing we are autistic helps us make sense of “what happened”, helps us know our personal strengths and weaknesses and especially important, how best to self accommodate for our own unique “brand” of autism.

 When we understand our past and know our own selves well enough to understand how our autism works in us, then we have the opportunity to change our lives in our surroundings, our activities, our schedules, our health care and diet, our own struggles and how to support ourselves through the worst of them.

 Diagnosis, whether self discovered or diagnosed professionally, can help in so many ways.
 Diagnosis gives us a new and completely different perspective on absolutely everything we thought we knew or believed in our long and painful lives. Self understanding is so important!

 There are well over 225 blog entries here, all about discovering autism, the nature of autism itself, and adjusting to diagnosis late in life.

 If there are questions about those topics that you’d like to see discussed, please drop me a line. 

I hope you find what you need, right here, to explain some of the painful “whys” of past life, to suggest some adjustments you can make to make life better, and to help understand your own kind of autism.

 Have a happy and healthy new year, may all your dreams come true.