Self care always first
Burnout is common among autistic individuals since it takes so much energy to participate in every day life and all it entails. Most things that come naturally for NT (neurotypical or average) individuals are a struggle for many autistic folks, form daily activities such as shopping , workplace demands, housekeeping, care of family and trying to keep up on friendships and other important relationships. Even special interests can be all consuming and draining of energy, especially if there are a lot of other demands in one’s life.
I began to suspect my autism diagnosis about 6 years ago and spent several years studying autism, learning about it online, reading books, articles, blogs, and participating in forums for up to 5 hours almost every single day. I began to blog, have been trying to work on a book about adult autism, and attending several forums, being admin and moderator for several autism pages as well. Autism has become a second career. Add to that recent speaking and volunteering for a “lifelong learning” group at our local community college.
I could sustain that pace indefinitely but find I am exhausted now and in mourning. Our old dog is leaving us little by little. We will soon have to make a decision about putting her down. Mean time I am getting up every 2 hours every night to make sure there are no “accidents” in the house. This is leading to exhaustion and feeling tired most days, napping for a couple hours off and on during daytime hours. I am feeling very drained physically and emotionally. I know the physical side, not getting enough rest, contributes to the limited emotional resources I now seem to have. Depression is setting in.
Other struggles adding to this are complications and frustrations over book production and a recent bout of rejection after having been given a specific invitation to participate in giving a presentation have led to my feeling depressed and frustrated. I am glad I can recognize this right now and try to change things. Self care always first is one of my most insistent mantras, and I plan on taking my own advice.
Time to back off and do self care. I am cutting back on my groups and passing the torch of admin and moderator on to others where possible.
I am going to at least try to keep up with the blog and spend more time doing rest and self care things.
I want to head this off before it becomes complete depression and breakdown.
If you are feeling exhausted, frustrated, depressed, anxious and overwhelmed, are you taking the time to do self care?
Great Post. Completely agree with you. I get burnt out easy nowadays. Self care is vital.
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Great post. I’m sorry to hear about the rejection you experienced from the group you planned to present to. It’s so hard to accept rejection without feeling rather destroyed when one has autism. Usually we’ve experienced it repeatedly over a lifetime and perhaps have never successfully gotten over it, only to have the bandaid rudely yanked off again. At that moment it can seem as if no headway has ever been made in our battle to accept ourselves and perhaps even to love ourselves unconditionally. Family and friends often try to soothe us by attempting to downplay what has happened, even to suggest that our perception may be skewed, ultimately gaslighting us. But we’ve experienced this sort of thing before and in the end we’re left on our own with our sense of shame and failure. I’ve learned to allow myself to feel like crap for awhile and then ultimately give it to God. It’s their problem if my autism is a bar to full participation, full acceptance, not mine. In the end I can’t change or control anyone’s behavior but my own. So I choose to grieve a bit and then move on.
I enjoy your posts very much, although this one is difficult. I hope knowing how many people you are helping with this blog will uplift your heart.
Take the time you need to rest and restore.
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I’m glad you’re taking time for yourself, and sorry to hear about your furry friend. They leave such a hole in our hearts when they go on.
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❤
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