when your diagnosis says “autism”


After the diagnosis process we must adjust to the idea that we have ‘different” neurology which can give us struggles that most adults in the world’s population simply do not have.
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The idea that we were affected all our lives and that we did not know or understand is something that takes a lot of emotional homework and self education as well as eventually calling for self -accommodations. Suddenly seeing everything in our lives, our self understanding, understanding of others, our ideas, thoughts, beliefs over absolutely everything in our lives right up to this minute is stunning. Its an entirely new perspective and so many things look so different once we know our diagnosis.
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Diagnosis is like culture shock, even if we expected it, and this new perspective takes a lot of sorting! Many people report upsets in the days of processing this new view of life both past and present : sudden anger, resentment, grief, relief, “aha” moments of sudden insights where so many “whys” of the past are answered by the word “autism” and the new understanding it brings us. Of course we are shaken to our core!
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Do your best self care right now, you are going through sudden emotional whirlwinds, changing and growing with all the new insights, you will likely begin to make self accommodations as you discover yourself struggling with yet another part of your daily life.
you will need time, need rest and food and drink,to have the emotional and physical resources we need, we eventually apply self compassion and self forgiveness as well as forgiving others. Nobody knew!
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Best of all you will discover you are not the “only one” and that everything and every struggle was not “all your fault” due to moral failures or lack of strength of character or many other traits others assigned you over your previous life. We struggled to do so many things in daily life that others did naturally and unconsciously. We are survivors in so many ways!
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Learn all you can about your diagnosis. There are so many recent books, podcasts, videos, social media, blogs, personal pages, and autism groups you can join online as well as “in person ” in many places. I find the online groups wonderful. Where else can we get so many insights, so much information, suggestions and explanations from others who have lifetimes of Autism experience???
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As you get insights about your personal struggles, you can begin to change things about your routines, clothing, arrangements, activities, and make adjustments or find “work arounds” to almost any struggles to make your life easier every day.
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Eventually the whirlwinds settle , now 5 years since my diagnosis at age 68 life has never been better. I hope this for you as well.