“rejection sensitive dysphoria ” and –what is that all about??

It is the experience of almost every autistic individual at many stages of our lives that we are socially rejected. We can be dismissed, mocked, ignored, shunned, bullied, “corrected”, punished and blamed repeatedly from the time we are small children right through our adult lives.

As youngsters we learn to isolate ourselves voluntarily instead of continually risking rejection in so many forms. We learn that our company or companionship is not wanted, that others don’t like things we do or the way we look or behave.

It seems to many of us that we are not wanted, that nobody is interested, that nobody cares to hear about our interests, our feelings, our ideas and thoughts, nor do they want to interact with us in groups.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is diagnosed when feeling rejected becomes dominant in our lives and we shape our lives around avoidance, often feeling abused, neglected, and also quite resentful and sometimes angry at others who have provided these continual experiences that blame, shame, mock or shun us.


Avoiding social interactions as a way to cope is deemed by some to be “unhealthy”.

Compare to constant head banging on a brick wall, doesn’t it feel better when I stop trying to do that and avoid the pain of the interaction between me and the brick wall? Avoidant behavior is not just based on “misperception” sometimes it is based on the reality of our experiences.

This is a fairly complete explanation of what Rejection Sensitive dysphoria “is” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201907/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria#:~:text=People although it centers around ADHD persons, substitute ASD or add it to the discussion here as well. The thing is, for many autistic individuals , our experiences with interactions with others have confirmed our biased thinking, and raised our guard to expecting negative reactions when we approach others for interaction.

Is it dysphoria if the negative interactions actually do happen more frequently than positive interactions?

https://embrace-autism.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-in-adhd-and-autism/

again, studies have been done with adhd subjects but so far research for ASD individuals are missing. (but testing shows that many ASD individuals will also have comorbid ADHD (did you know?)
It is no wonder that many of us become reclusive after lifetimes of being rejected, mocked, bullied, avoided.

If we actually experience this treatment frequently, is it any wonder that we have developed these opinions and outlook on our lives and adjusted our attempts at interaction accordingly?


This blog article was triggered by yet another experience of me observing somebody I have known and interacted with spotting me and taking evasive action by turning their back and walking rapidly away.

When the rejection is real, is it any wonder that we see it and respond to it by becoming self protective and reclusive?

There are many articles online discussing rejection sensitive behavior, causes and “cures” or “treatments” Check it out and think about it. It doesn’t seem to me to be maladaptive when we stop doing something that generally ends in failure and emotional pain. Feeling a bit cynical over this topic. No answers.